It's August 1990, I have been married 18 months. We are preparing for Roger to go to Saudi Arabia. I remember spending days crying. He was upset. I'd push him away then run to him, clinging to him. Afraid to let him go, pushing him away. We made the decision to have friends stay in our house for the duration and I would spend that time with his bio. mom, step dad and family.

We had a tearful goodbye at the Nashville Airport. I didn't know if I would ever see him again. I cried most of the way to Seattle. Stepping off that plane, at SeaTac, I knew my life was going to change forever. I just didn't know how. I was meeting family that I had never met before, staying indefinately with them while her son fought in a war. It was stressful. I went there as a 19 yr old womanchild and went home an adult. I definately matured while I was there.

Roger and I became pen pals again, sending letters back and forth almost daily.

In my growth and maturing I made many mistakes. At the time I saw it as my coping mechanism, but now I am definately ashamed of my actions then. :-(

I was in Seattle from August 90 until Roger was due back to Fort Campbell, April 91. I will pick up there tomorrow.


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Thursday, February 15, 2001

Where did I stop before? Oh, I am transplanted to TN. I know no one except for Roger, I have never really been totally on my own before, so this is all new to me :-) Since R got down there before me, he found us a cute little apartment. It was the attic of a house, an efficiency apartment. So small, but cute, and it was home for us. I was 18. I was homesick. The memories I had of that first apartment, and my life then, are wonderful memories. When he'd go to the field (for up to 2 weeks at a time) I'd hang out with the downstairs neighbors. Stacey was a riot. I absolutely adored her. We lived just across the alley from Austin Peay University. Stacey and I would go to the campus gym to work out every so often. I moved there in April, by June we were outgrowing our tiny apartment. We moved into a mobile home. Now this was an interesting experience, let me tell you. It was mostly military. I learned to mind my own business rather quickly, it was quite a soap opera. We didn't last there long. In August of 1989 we bought our first house. It was a cozy little bungalow just up the street from the mobile home court. I loved my little home and became Suzy Homemaker. We drove to Nashville often, just to drive around, shop a little, go home. We spent many an afteroon/evening riding our motorcycle. I remember driving down this steep hill, had to have been going 85 and Roger yells over the roar of the bike 'I LOVE YOU'. I didn't hear him so I said 'WHAT??' and he said 'I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!' That was the day I had my first ferry ride, still have the ticket stub from that :-) We rode for hours.

We started talking about having children. We had the house, the life I always wanted, children needed to be there. But not yet We're up to our first anniversary, February 16, 1990.

Uneasiness in the Gulf. Uneasiness at Fort Campbell. We know something is up. Roger prepares me for the possiblity/probability of war.

to be continued.......