Monday, January 15, 2001

as usual, my mind is full tonight, and those thoughts are just trying their darndest to come out. I wish I could give each thought justice, but by the time I finish one, I forget two or three, then add three or four to the list of never ending thoughts.

For instance, ever take a word, any word, and just think about that word? what do you come up with? Like my thoughts on jets. you see a jet stream in the sky, you see a jet, and think of the people, why they aren't at work, what they are doing, where they are going, what they ate for breakfast yesterday and what they will eat for dinner today. Do they have children? Are they going to a meeting? funeral? wedding? Is life just starting or is it ending? see what I mean?

Take a word, make it a name, say, Jonathan. My son's name, who do you know named Jonathan and what do you think about when you hear that name? For me? I think of my son of course, and then I think of JFK. I am too young to have witnessed JFK's death or his political career, but I also think of JFK Jr. Jon Jon, that's the nickname we have for our son. Never knew it was a famous nickname until my mother told me. and here I thought I was being original. *sigh*

Ok, one more thought then kidlet and I are heading to bed.

Bipolar. *said in my most quiet whisper* Maybe if I type it quietly no one will notice. Gotta keep mental illness out of the picture. *gasp* what if someone knows that someone in our family has a *hushed tone* mental illness. Ok, enough of the dramatics. Yes, we have a family member with Bipolar Disorder (Early Onset Bipolar Disorder Type II Hypo Manic to be exact). Bipolar Disorder is AKA Manic Depression. and my 9 yr old daughter was diagnosed a few years ago. I find myself wanting to share this part of me, of our lives, so you know what I go through on a daily basis. I find myself needing to talk about it, about her, about her illness. If you aren't famililar with Bipolar go and do a general search on bipolar, check out a few links. chances are, someone in YOUR family gets alittle hyper (ok, a lot hyper) at times, is a tad grandiose, is a show off. Maybe at times that said person is quiet, withdrawn, a bit blue. It's possible it's just a coincidence, or it's possible s/he has bipolar. Educate yourselves on this common, but little recognized mental disorder (a chemical imbalance, really). Maybe your knowledge can help a friend someday.

I need to put munchkin into bed he won't go without me. Oh the joys of attachment parenting (another fun topic to do a search on :-)) I'm not complaining, just tired.

night all

oh, I almost forgot (and I should have put this first darnit). Thank you (a thousand times) for taking the time to read my ramblings. I appreciate your personal comments. I have visited your sites and intend to read them on a regular basis. You all have had some very kind words to say about my crazy thoughts :-)

Just a disclaimer, to cover my butt. This is my place to unload. So the language and content may get lively at times. If you are easliy offended, then you had better close your eyes :-)

and one last thing, then we're REALLY going to bed, I know how to spell and I do have good grammar, pretty good, anyway, but my typing accuracy sucks. so if you can't read this, just blame the keyboard, not the person operating it. :-)

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