Thursday, January 25, 2001

why can't I go to sleep? I am so tired, yet sleep eludes me. What I wouldn't give to just crawl into my warm bed, pull the covers up and go to sleep. Real sleep, not waking up every time I hear a noise (must not be completely asleep HUH?) or start to dream. I just want to sleep :-(

I think of all I have done today, all I shouldn't have done, all I was going to do and didn't....regrets, should have been's and frustration. Obviously today wasn't a good day. I'd have felt better if it went straight to Thursday, bypassed Wednesday all together.

There are some days when I just can't get my point across. Today was one of them. I find myself wanting things I can't have (or shouldn't), regreting decisions I have made, my impulsiveness, wishing I could change history and redirect the future.

I think I may have reached my burnout phase again. I need to sit back, cool off, regroup, take a walk down memory lane a bit and be damn thankful I have what I have. (but still wish things were like they used to be?) I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed. Today is one of those days. Could my life slow down long enough for me to get off? This ride is going way too fast.
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