Geez, I'm a blogging fool tonight! It just happens that I have a free moment and I'm NOT tired yet (too much caffiene and chocolate today. Oh my!) I wanted to take a minute to share a little something that's been on my mind....
I chat with a group of lady friends and we were chatting about our children and our parenting skills. I wrote this:
You know, your children are your best judge of your character. I thought I was an awful mother. I *think* I'm an awful mother. I don't cook, I don't clean, I don't play organized games with my children. I'm sick alot, I have pain a lot and headaches. I'm just not a joy to be around.
However, ask Jenna and she'll tell you I'm the coolest mom EVER. Ask Jonathan and he'll tell you I'm the most loveable, huggable mom in the whole wide world. Jess would sooner gouge my eyes out with a spork, but I can understand I just let that go. Hope thinks I'm right up there with God.
We all have our own standards AND expectations of what and who we should be. Many times we feel we don't measure up, but if you ask our children, we far exceed their expectations.
With that in mind, let me tell you about what Jenna was like at 14... Jenna has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Her early years on through about age 16, were just awful. She tried to kill me a few times. She would fly into these rages and bite, kick, hit, yell and scream. I would often end up bruised and sore. Fast forward to now. She hasn't had a rage since the fall. Now these rages are easier to diffuse. Usually they just involve some yelling and going for a walk to cool off. She is quick to apologize. My child has changed SO much for the better. She is fun to be around, friendly, outgoing, working towards full independence. She says things that just blow my mind. I keep telling myself, she is only 17. How did she become so wise? For example: Today we were talking about the girls she works with. She can't stand working with the 'teenagers'. It doesn't matter that she IS a teenager, she just can't stand working with them. She told me about this one girl who is her age, 17. She came to work on a Saturday and was chatting about what she did the night before. She went to this awesome party, got drunk, had awesome sex, blah blah blah. Jenna said, mom, she is 17! She looked right at me and said I don't know, maybe it's me, or maybe I have really weird parents, but you wouldn't let me just go out on a random Friday night to get drunk, smoke, have sex and all that stuff! What in the world are her parents thinking? I said, that's just it, Jenna. Her parents likely don't know. She replied with, well, you always know what I do and where I am, I just don't get it.
Jenna, a beautiful 17 year old girl, does not have sex (it's the first thing she tells every boyfriend she's ever had, if you want it, you're barking up the wrong tree LOL One of her favorite sayings was "sorry boys, I only suck lollipops" LOL!), thinks that smoking is awful, (but is quick to tell an adult who smokes that it's there choice, she just doesn't want to smell it) and beer just smells nasty, so it has to be horrid to drink. LOL! Then she said, you know where I am all the time.
SO this drinking, smoking, love machine asked Jenna, so, what did you do last night? She said, I went to the mall with my Mom. Hahahahahahaha.