Blowing the Dust Off with an Update

Oh it's been a long time...and I've missed blogging. I have no following any more. I have no bloggy friends. I have no blogger family. I miss it! I need to get back into it. I know my style has changed, my thoughts have changed.....*I* have changed. So it's time to dust off the blog and begin again. Perhaps give it a make over or a facelift, or create something new, all together. For now, I must give a Hope update. 

For those who don't know, Hope was adopted 6+ years ago. Hope was born prematurely to the most amazing birth mother on earth. I know, birth mothers are amazing. But this birth mother is incredible. Honest. She is. When Hope was born prematurely, due to preeclampsia, she had no heart beat or respiration. She had an apgar of zero. The doctors told her birth mother and the adoption agency that her future was really unpredictable. She could be wheelchair bound, vent dependent, with a feeding tube. She could have severe cerebral palsy. She could have very significant disabilities. So the adoption agency was straight up honest with families who wanted a healthy Caucasian female newborn. These families, one by one, turned down Hope. Oh yes, they did. I feel they had every right to do that! If I wanted a perfectly healthy, full term Caucasian female that I was adopting, privately, from an adoption agency, I'd want that child to be full term and healthy! Not born at 29 weeks and potentially wheelchair bound for life! Ah. But that's where we came in. See, *I* didn't care about that. *I* wasn't even looking for a baby. Um, no? I wasn't really looking for a child. Originally we thought we wanted a little boy between the ages of birth and 9, so Jonathan could have a little brother...but that didn't happen, so we were taking a break from all the adoption nonsense. I was emotionally tired and just done with it all and my caseworker at the agency knew that. Our clearances expired. We developed a routine with our two daughters and our son....ho hum. Then I got a phone call.....Maggie.....we have a baby.....and I don't think I really heard anything else that day....it was all like Charlie Brown's teacher.... waonk wah waonk waonk blah blah do you want her? I had Harriet repeat it. What did you just say? Sure, we'll take her! Then she said, but Maggie, she isn't perfect. Harriet, we'll take her! Maggie, she may be wheel chair dependent? So? You may want to ask Bill......oh....yeah. Ok, I'll call you back. :) So I call Bill. He said ok! We'll take her! (that was easy!) I call her back, we discuss that this is a domestic adoption that actually costs money (we didn't have, but it worked out) and so on and so forth. 

OK, Long story short. The child does not need a damn wheel chair. The child never needed a damn wheel chair. In fact, the urologist today said are you serious this child has a diagnosis of CP? Really? Honestly. Um, yeah, she does. :) This child spent 1 month in the NICU. Fought for her LIFE. This child grew and grew and grew. This child endured months and months of physical therapy and occupational therapy so she could run and play without hesitation. She wrote on the walls and instead of chastising her, I smiled, she was using her hands!!!! :) :) :) She's not perfect. She has a silly left leg and a arm and hand that don't always listen. She has a left eye that sometimes wants to do it's own thing. She has fully adapted around these things and super strengthened her right side. She plays soccer. She runs. She dances. She sings. She writes. She cuts Barbie's hair, she draws on walls. She can do so many things that those doctors said she *may* never do. They had NO idea that Hope just didn't pay any attention to that early prognosis. Today, we went to the urologist. Hope, at 6, still isn't potty trained. Hope is our youngest child of 4. I will admit, this started affecting ME. I started questioning my parenting. Am I doing something wrong, by not having her trained by now? After just 15 minutes of meeting with the staff today, I was put at ease and reminded that 1. Hope has some issues that my other children did NOT have. 2. Hope is going to need extra time to catch up and 3. IT IS OK. I'm NOT a bad mom. It's NOT my parenting. Hope is doing fabulous. It WILL happen. :) It will. It may not happen today or even tomorrow, but it will happen. She said, that it could very well be directly correlated to Hope's problems with constipation! Who knew this?! I had NO idea. She said that it could prevent Hope from feeling her bladder and knowing when to go to the bathroom! Bless her! I had no idea. Ahhhhhhh......I felt such a relief after 15 minutes with this woman. So I'm back to blogging. Hope is doing great. I'm thankful that I was chosen to be her Mom. She's such a blessing to me.