Friday, July 27, 2001

ahhh, I'm restless, can you tell?

It got confusing tonight. at one point I wanted to walk downtown and buy an icecream lol just to get away.

My mom died when I was 8, dad remarried shortly after. I look a lot like BOTH my moms. more so like my step mom I think. Well, tonight I was told by many many people that I look *just like* my mother. depending on the person they meant both my Mom and my StepMom! depended on who they knew as my mom. roflmao. I had a headache after about the 4th or 5th comment about that. :)

and one last comment before I try to go to sleep. remember how I said when I die I want a party? well, Pap got a party. We were sad for a moment, cried hard for a moment (during the Masonic service) and got it out. but then we started visiting with old friends and family and I started that snort laugh thing and it just spiraled from there. We actually had a *good* time. and I think Pap *was* there, but not in his body. He was mingling with all of us, patting us on the back, holding our hand. He was beside us, not in that cold casket. His body was ice cold, he is no longer in it. He has moved on. and you wanna know what I am believing right now? He is talking to his 9 yr old great grand son and they are finding the coolest fishing hole right about now......

Take good care of my boy, Pap, until I can be there to do it myself :)
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